Newsletter #3 - Gratitude Invites the Gift of Presence
Yoga is a practice of observation. During class we are asked to become aware of our body, our breath and our thoughts. It’s a constant struggle, but if we can achieve the ability to ONLY listen (and not judge) we are better able to detach (if just a little) from our inner critic; we can move away from expectation and toward appreciation for what we have now, and not the way we wish things could be.
As Robert Holden says, “The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become,” and vice versa. Here’s the catch, in order to realize what you are lucky to have, you need patience and presence to see it.
It’s hard to be grateful for everything. Bad things happen. Interestingly, in Mo Gowdart’s book, Solve for Happiness, he found that even when something awful has occurred, if given a choice, people wouldn’t want erase the experiences from their past. He discovered that once the misfortune was weathered, people tended to appreciate the lessons they learned through what happened--making them stronger and more compassionate. Of course, this is not at all to minimize tragedies—it’s just to highlight that valuable lessons can come from tough situations.
One of my big lessons came in 2002. I took my precious one-year-old son to see a neurologist. I knew he was late meeting his milestones, but nothing prepared me for the results of the exam. The words “Cerebral Palsy,” “multiple operations,” and “not walking,” filled the room. I was shacken and terrified by our new reality.
However, as the situation settled in, new doors opened for me. I realized that this terrible diagnosis was our doctors’ gift, as it afforded us access to a tremendous amount of therapy and early intervention. As we worked diligently to get him help, I began to see people with disabilities differently; and I found a greater understanding toward his older sister, who had issues of her own. For Zach: he learned focus and discipline and perhaps that is why he not only walks, but he is my most athletic child! We were very lucky for how our situation turned out. I am stronger, more compassionate and resilient than before and more importantly Zach knows he can work through any obstacle—a lesson some people never have the opportunity to learn. In the end, I wouldn’t trade it for having a kid who walked and talked early and made the journey easier.
We don’t really know how life will turn out but if we listen, we can appreciate that it does keep turning.
Dana Faulds writes:
“Who knows why life unfolds the way it does; why we chose one path or another, share the way for a while or a day, then say goodbye. There is no predictability here, and less control than we might wish. But there is the quiet urging Of the heart, the knowing in the soul, the wisdom that’s beneath the mind, accessible if we breathe and turn inside.
When the tide of change rolls In we can resist or be at peace, struggle or release. The stuff of life may not be ours to understand. It’s enough to offer love, to receive the best and the worst, to embrace and say farewell. What matters most is to celebrate each moment of the journey”